I'm Putting my Record on!

Since turning 18, I think something has 'clicked' in me. I think I have become slightly more mature but yet still my childish moments are still with me. That's the best I think. I feel so much calmer now. I have my parents arguing over who got the better present and who got it on time...personally I don't care!

My Horoscope today: You are at the beginning of a very expansive time in your life right now, Kara , and opportunities are available to you whether you realize it or not. You may get the feeling that there is an area of your life that needs a total overhaul. Major change and upheaval is a large piece of the puzzle. Revamp that which does not work for you anymore to make room for the tremendous future that awaits you. This is your time to shine.

Anyway I think that's so true. Well I got my tatoo, was that 'big enough'...yeah for me it was but still something bigger is waiting for me, I feel like I want to do something completely out of character!

My dad swent me a voucher today for a studio recording session! How cool is that? I thought it was a very thoughtful gift.

Anyway now I got to go because I have work to do. OOOOH so close to exams...I'm so scared now!

Kara x

Sometimes I get the feeling I'm talking to myself. Do you ever get that feeling? It's like I'm saying hello how are you? And then you realise they're not listening. I don't know I think it's stupid, you know? Well tomorrow I have two exams. Singing A2 practical and LAMDA- Gold Medal, so I got to go to bed early.
Night people.

Well I feel a congratulations to Mary should be awarded for getting the scholarship. Well done hun!

Today on Antonia's Xanga site I read something that in someways I feel applys to me (not saying Antonia put it up for me) but I felt like I was that person.

"She did it for him. She would have done anything for him. Some women are like that. Love can be like that. Most loves are like that, from what I can see. Your heart starts to feel like an overcrowded lifeboat. You throw your pride out to keep it afloat, and your self-respect and your independence. After a while you start throwing people out- your friends, everyone you used to know. And it's still not enough. The lifeboat is still sinking, and you know it's going to take you down with it. I've seen that happen to a lot of girls here. I think that's why I'm sick of love."...

I've seen this same thing happen to almost all my friends. Very well put I think.
I haven't very much to say reall. Not done a thing today and I am soooo bored. I should have done some intense revision like Clark but I think I will wait till Wednesday because that's when everything is out of the way and I can just get on with it.

Not so good day!

Today I found out my Mum didn't get the job in Germany. 3 years we've been trying to get out of Gibraltar and after so many interviews we still haven't got there. I believe it's to balance all the good that has happened to me recently.

I want to go to Germany for my gap year and do some assistant work in teaching (of music). It may be an option still, I mean I could stay with some friends for a year but I think it would be hard for my Mum. I'm not really sure what I should do. I can't spend a year with my Mum, we can just manage three weeks without killing each other but I don't want her to be upset. Germany I feel is best for me not Gibraltar, there's nothing there for me and there hasn't been for a long time (well except for seeing my dog "Grouchy", who is the cutest dog in the world!) I'm stuck at the moment.

There was a physics test this morning, which wasn't exactly easy. It was terrifyingly hard but it wasn't easy. I got a question about parsecs wrong, I described a parallax instead but they are both connected because one parsec is equal to 1/parallax!

Also today I found that my composition sounds great on computer but crappy live! I just freaked when I heard Mrs. Miller play it. It wasn't her fault, she's been great and I owe her so much but I was just so upset about the work I put in and the fact that now I have to spend this weekend redoing half of it.

I discovered that my A2 practical music exam is on Wednesday 3rd May at 11:30am and that my L.AM.D.A exam is on the same day at 14:45pm. Which I am actually quite happy about because on this day there is nothing stopping then from getting into full blown revision.

I have raised £30 for the Rosmere Cancer Run so far, which isn't as much as £300 but at least I'm contributing. I'm not doing the 5K run though, I'm doing the 2K walk. Let's be honest I'd walk the 5K and wouldn't really feel as though I did enough. I feel bad enough already for not running but I'm taking part and raising money and I feel that that is what counts. Not who runs or who walks but who takes part 

I might become a blood donor aswell. On May 12th they are having a blood drive, I want to go and contribute, I hate needles but in the end I'm helping aren't I.

Thanks to everyone, who congratualted me on my Grade 8 success. It was really nice of you.

Anyway I have to go now it is 23:16pm and Matron wants us "young ladies" to bed.

Good Night all, Sweet Dreams.

Kara. x